The Most Ironic Token

THE BOY WHO LIVED Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal thank you very much. They were the last people youd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious because they just didnt hold with such nonsense. Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings which made drills. He was a big beefy man with hardly any neck although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences spying on the neighbors. The Dursley s had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere. The Dursleys had everything they wanted but they also had a secret and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didnt think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursleys sister but they hadnt Page  2 Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone  J.K. Rowling met for several years in fact Mrs. Dursley pretended she didnt have a sister because her sister and her goodfornothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son too but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away they didnt want Dudley mixing with a child like that. When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull gray Tuesday our story starts there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair. None of them noticed a large tawny owl flutter past the window. At half past eight Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. Little tyke chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number fours drive. It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar  a cat reading a map. For a second Mr. Dursley didnt realize what he had seen  then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive but there wasnt a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at Page  3 Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone  J.K. Rowling the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive  no looking at the sign cats couldnt read maps or signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day. But on the edge of town drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam he couldnt help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldnt bear people who dressed in funny clothes  the getups you saw on young people He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them werent young at all why that man had to be older than he was and wearing an emeraldgreen cloak The nerve of him But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt  these people were obviously collecting for something ... yes that would be it. The traffic moved on and a few minutes later Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot his mind back on drills. Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadnt he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. He didnt see the owls swooping past in broad daylight though people down in the street did they pointed and gazed openmouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr. Dursley however had a perfectly normal owlfree morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone Page  4 Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone  J.K. Rowling calls and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood until lunchtime when he thought hed stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery. Hed forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the bakers. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didnt know why but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly too and he couldnt see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them clutching a large doughnut in a bag that he caught a few words of what they were saying. The Potters thats right thats what I heard     yes their son Harry   Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them but thought better of it. He dashed back across the road hurried up to his office snapped at his secretary not to disturb him seized his telephone and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache thinking ... no he was being stupid. Potter wasnt such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it he wasnt even sure his nephew was called Harry. Hed never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold. There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didnt blame her  if hed had a sister like that ... but all the same those people in cloaks ... Page  5 Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone  J.K. Rowling He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five oclock he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door. Sorry he grunted as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didnt seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare Dont be sorry my dear sir for nothing could upset me today Rejoice for You KnowWho has gone at last Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy happy day And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off. Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home hoping he was imagining things which he had never hoped before because he didnt approve of imagination. As he pulled into the driveway of number four the first thing he saw  and it didnt improve his mood  was the tabby cat hed spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one it had the same markings around its eyes. Shoo said Mr. Dursley loudly. The cat didnt move. It just gave him a stern look. Was this normal cat behavior Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together he let himself into the Page  6 Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone  J.K. Rowling house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife. Mrs. Dursley had had a nice normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Doors problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word Wont. Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed he went into the living room in time to catch the last re

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MIRONIC 157.54 B MIRONIC	$0.00	-	$0¹²975
HARYPOTER 30,000,000,000,000.00 E HARYPOTER	$0.00	-	$0³⁰191

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